Road trips: Same script, different cast

So I am on this road trip, in another country, with a group of strangers. I have been thinking about how new this is. New people, new places, new everything. But as the trip went on, I found myself laughing on the inside because… it’s actually not new at all. The people are different, yes, but the types of people? No, exactly the same. Every road trip, every group trip, somehow gathers the same cast of characters. You just change the country, not the people. No matter where you are in the world, the characters always report for duty.

There is the Thermostat. This one is not at peace with temperature as a concept. “Please close the window, it’s too cold.” Two minutes later, “It’s too hot, open it.” Three minutes later, “Why is it windy inside?” At some point, you start to wonder whether this is only about weather or something personal. 

Then there is the Complainer. This is a deeply gifted individual who can locate discomfort in the most perfect conditions. The sun is too bright. The road is too straight. I don't like the sound of a Land Cruiser. They will complain about noise and about silence. If someone cracks a joke and every one laughs, they will question it.

Next, you have the Comedian. Usually quiet at the beginning, you underestimate them and that is your first mistake. Somewhere between kilometer 60 and 105, they start. One joke. Then another. Then suddenly the car is shaking with laughter and nobody knows when it began.

Close by, almost invisible, is the Archivist. This one enjoys the trip on their camera. They view the sights using their phone. They take good pictures of everyone, soft light, real smiles, portrait setting, etc. You will not see them in these photos. 

Then comes the Systems Engineer. Everything can be optimised. Everything. Routes, fuel stops, snack distribution, toilet breaks, seating arrangements, they have a plan, a backup plan, and a disappointment in all of you for not following either.

And of course, the Walking Encyclopedia. This one knows things, every bird, every tree, every hill has a backstory. “Ah, that’s actually a…” Nobody asked, but here we are, learning. You will leave the trip with knowledge you did not request but cannot un-know.

In the back seat, usually tuned to everyone, is the Mother. “Have you eaten?” “Are you comfortable?” “Take my jacket.” She carries snacks, carries extra everything and notices everything good and bad.

Then there is the Bottomless Pit. Hunger is part of the road trip for them. Snacks are a necessity. They are always chewing something, opening something, asking about the next stop. Their metabolism is an unexplained mystery. Are they even hungry?!

Right next to them sits the Bar on Wheels. Morning? Drink. Afternoon? Drink. Sunset? Celebrate with a drink. They are hydrated in ways the rest of you are not. Strangely, they remain functional. 

Somewhere in the mix, you will find The Timekeeper. “Are we there yet?” “How long now?” “Is it far?” You begin to wonder if they read the itinerary. They measure the journey not in enjoying the moment, but in how quickly the day ends.

Ha, there is the Prepared One. This one did not come to play. They came equipped. You need a penknife? Not just any penknife, a good one. A torch? Of course. Batteries? Spare ones, what size? AA or AAA? A wet wipe, a charger, a safety pin, a notebook, a rope… a rope for what? Nobody knows but it’s there. Ask for something ridiculous and watch them smile slowly, like a magician about to ruin your skepticism. “Oh, you mean this?” At some point, you stop asking for things. 

And just behind them, often consulted in moments of panic, is the Doctor. They are of course not a real doctor, but spiritually certified I think. Headache? They have something. Stomach issue? Covered. Car sickness? Already anticipated. They carry pills for everything including for radiation poisoning. You don’t even know what half of them are, but the confidence is convincing. “Take this” and you do without questions. 

Quietly judging all of you is the Silent Observer. They don’t talk much but they see everything. Who complained, who laughed too loudly, who ate whose snacks. They are collecting stories, you just don’t know it yet.

Sometimes, if you are lucky, there is the DJ. This is the one who understands that a road trip without the right music is just organised movement. They read the mood, switch genres at the right moment, revive dying energy, and occasionally cause a full car sing-along.

And then there is you. You are there somewhere in the car, you are also a type. Are you maybe a mix or are you evolving depending on the hour, the hunger, the playlist.

That’s the thing about road trips. You cross borders, change languages, change currencies… but from where my feet are, people remain familiar. Same characters as with every road trip.