In defence of certain kinds of lateness

 Today I was uncharacteristically late for a meeting...

I do not condone lateness. Let me say that early and loudly and with my hand on my chest. 

But I do believe that not all lateness is created equal. 

There are degrees and categories of lateness. There is also lateness etiquette. Timing within timing, so to speak/write. When it comes to being late, sometimes a mile is far better than the near miss.

Hear me out.

Take a meeting that starts at 9:00 a.m.

There is arriving at 9:03 a.m. 

This is the most awkward kind of late. You are telling people: I tried, but I misjudged myself. You walk in just as they are welcoming every one. Someone is saying "thank you all for coming." Someone else is clearing their throat. The meeting has technically begun, but psychologically no one has settling in, including you.

You slip in self-consciously, smiling too hard whispering "sorry sorry" doing that half-bow people do when they don't know whether to greet or disappear. You pull your chair, make noise, the table shakes slightly and everyone looks at you, probably not because they care that they are late, but because they themselves are not yet comfortable. You have disrupted that fragile moment when people are still transitioning into being meeting participants. 

Three minutes late at 9:03 a.m. is not confident. It is indecisive lateness.

9:05 a.m. is worse.

9:10 a.m. is just embarrassing because it says: I did not plan properly, and I want grace for it.

Now, compare that with arriving at 9:30 a.m.

Ah. This is lateness with intent. It is lateness that has a backstory. 

By the time you walk in, the opening remarks are done. The pleasantries have been exhausted. The "lets wait five more minutes" crowd has kept quiet. The meeting is now in deep session, talking about something important, tense, making people lean forward, nod their heads and scribble in their notebooks. 

You enter quietly with no apologies. You sit down smoothly, open your notebook, and because the meeting is already in motion, no one is unsettled by your presence. In fact, they are relieved. 

You ask a sharp question, add one clear sentence and sound focused, not flustered. 

Now before I am dragged to the nearest public square, let me be clear: This not a justification for lateness.

By all means, please arrive on time. By all means, please respect people's time. By all mean, please please plan better. Being late is disrespectful. 

This is just an observation on how lateness is perceived, because near-on-time lateness forces everyone to adjust around you, while decisive lateness lets the room absorb you naturally. No?

And here is an important rule, written in capital letters, underlined twice:

This theory does not apply to people who are convening the meeting. 

If you are the one who called the meeting, you must be on time. Always. Meetings should start on time. Weddings should start on time. Do not gather people and keep them waiting. That is disrespect. For our politicians, that is not authority. It is disrespect dressed up as importance. If everyone has arrived and is waiting, you are wrong. 

Finally, because we are respectful and have good manners, if you are going to be late for whatever reason, communicate early and clearly. Be genuinely late, not carelessly late. 

Sometimes lateness is inevitable. Life happens, things get overrun, traffic exists, emergencies emerge. But if you are late because you are simply bad at managing your time, that is a personal development issue. Get your act together. 

Because from where my feet are, time is not just about minutes on the clock. It is awareness, posture, how you enter a room and how you place yourself in it. And sometimes, it is better to arrive fully, honestly late, than stumble in almost on time, but not on time.