For most of childhood, mothers are permanent infrastructure like electricity poles, boda boda stages, or the lady selling ground nuts and hard corn by the roadside every morning. You assume that the primary reason they exist is to support life.
Then one day something changes. You notice your mother is tired, but she is tired in such a way that seems like she cannot rest because life and the world still requires them to function.
I remember seeing my mother sitting alone once after visitors had left, and for the first time, I realised she had worries unrelated to being a mother. She had dreams maybe, disappointments weighing her down, things she wanted to do or wanted to have but could not because of school fees or school shoes.
Children rarely imagine their parents as full human beings. We see sacrifice so constantly that we forget somebody is doing the sacrificing. As teenagers, we think our mothers exist mainly to interrupt happiness, to ask where we are going, or to say no to things that clearly deserved yes.
Then as adults the picture starts to change in that you begin noticing things like how tired she looked, how carefully she made little money work, how often she went without things, how much emotional weight she held inside.
You realise your mother may have also been figuring life out in real time. That realisation changes something within you. Her anger begins looking different and so does her softness too. Even the meaning of her silence changes.
From where my feet are, adulthood begins the day you stop seeing your mother only as "mother" and start seeing the human being inside the title.
The older I grow, the more I realise that my mother was carrying the entire world. Behind every strong mother is a woman who sacrificed quietly, loved deeply, and kept going even when life gave her every reason to stop. Let us always celebrate them every time.
ReplyDeleteIt is this kind of realization that draws us to visit her every weekend not only to enjoy her cooking but appreciate the sacrifice(s) made to see us to where we are in society.
ReplyDeleteIt’s until adulthood struck me that’s when I realized my mother sacrificed all she had to make life easy. From paying small bills at home, school fees, visitation at school and not forgetting the enjoyable moments without compromising anything. Continue resting in peace my beloved mother. You are dearly missed.
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