I am wearing a jumper with the words "Today I choose peace." There is something very easy about saying, "I choose peace." Wow, hearing myself say it, it actually sounds mature. But I have learnt and I am still learning that peace is not always calm. Sometimes it is confrontation and sometimes it requires a fight.
When I say today I choose peace, I don’t mean I am avoiding conflict. I mean I am willing to go to war with the things inside me that disturb it. The old words that still hurt. There are assumptions, pride, fear, the stubborn need to be right, and the temptation to replay conversations in my head and win them later. This is a real war happening deep inside my heart and mind.
Just the other day, I drafted a long email in my head. It was such a detailed message proving every point. Eish, I was ready to correct, defend, and to make sure I was understood. But in that moment, I forced myself to pause and asked: do I want to win this, or do I want peace? The two are sometimes not the same. Choosing peace cost me the satisfaction of being right. It cost me the last word.
Look at the world and you see that war is usually justified in the name of peace. Nations go to battle claiming they are securing stability, defending territory, protecting people, etc. The language is always about peace in the end. And yet, not every war produces peace. Some wars create deeper wounds. Some plant seeds for the next conflict, creating a sort of quiet before the next storm. The goal may be peace, but the outcome is not always guaranteed.
And this is exactly what unsettles me. If the end goal is peace, why does it dissolve so easily? Why does it last for a moment and then disappear? Maybe because peace is not a one-time victory. It requires continuous effort. It is choosing to hold back when you could react. It is choosing truth when lies are convenient. It is choosing silence when ego wants to say something.
There are wars worth fighting, and there are wars that only make things worse. The challenge is knowing the difference. Fighting every battle does not make you strong. Avoiding every battle does not make you peaceful. Wisdom lies somewhere in between. I suppose then that lasting peace is built by daily decisions and in fighting the small internal wars. Peace, I think, is refusing to let anger rule and refusing to let fear dictate direction. It is also about having hard conversations when silence would be easier, and keeping quiet when speaking would only inflame.
So today, I choose peace not because everything is calm and definitely not because I have mastered my emotions. I am actually struggling there. I choose peace knowing it requires a fight within myself. I choose it knowing I may lose some battles before I win others. I choose it knowing that tomorrow I may have to choose it again. The real war is sometimes not against people, but against the parts of me that sabotage the very peace I say I want.
Today, where my feet are, I choose peace. Tomorrow, I will probably have to choose it again.
This really resonates with me.
ReplyDeleteChoosing peace often comes with an opportunity cost.
Sometimes I wonder what the true cost of peace is, because facing things head-on can feel easier and cheaper in the moment.
Still, learning to pause and choose inner calm over reacting has been one of the hardest, yet most freeing, battles I’ve fought within myself.
Many times when we say we choose peace, what we're actually choosing is a ceasefire - time to re-arm, regroup, and strategise on how to get one up on our opponents at the very next opportunity.
ReplyDeleteWe approach it, not as a state of being, but as an event, a destination or, like it sometimes happens with me, a corner to go sulk in.
Now I'm nowhere near it, but I think peace should be impervious to external shocks. Does it mean we avoid conflict? No. We should instead approach it with cool heads and steady hands. I think Rudyard Kipling offered a direction towards true peace in IF.
Let's all hope we can find it.
[24/03, 04:14] Seshagiri RAO: To love somebody is not just a strong feeling - it is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise.
ReplyDeleteIt takes a moment to tell someone you love them, but it takes a lifetime to prove it.-
Erich Fromm, Renowned German-American social psychologist, psychoanalyst, sociologist, and humanistic philosopher.
[24/03, 10:52] Anonymous: Indeed 🌞
The sun must reassure us of its presence lest we thought he abandoned us in the frigid cold. So is the paradox of peace and war, you must experience one to know and appreciate the other 🥶
I choose
P.E.A.C.E