The world keeps offering strange lessons, and lately one of them has been that some political strategies and communication work almost perfectly as dating advice.
Take Benjamin Netanyahu’s communication style. When he speaks to civilians in places like Gaza Strip or Lebanon, the pattern is often very clear: first name the danger, then tell people to move, then explain that what is coming is necessary, and somewhere inside all that, still sound like the person trying to save lives.
The message usually sounds something like this: there are terrorists around you, they do not care about you, they are using you as human shields, so leave that place, move away, get out, because what happens next will not be gentle. It is a warning, yes, but it also does something clever because once you have warned people, you have already placed a little distance between yourself and what follows. You can always stand there afterwards, at least rhetorically, and say, hey, I told you.
That is what makes the warning interesting. It sounds protective, but it also protects the person giving it. It says: I am not only acting, I am advising. I am not only forceful, but being reasonable too.
Then comes the second part... drum roll... the promise that all this disruption is connected to a better future for you. Democracy, safety, stability, rebuilding, a better tomorrow. In politics, I have noticed that difficult things are often introduced using hopeful and safe language.
And honestly, the same thing happens in relationships more than we admit.
Some people do not begin by telling you they like you. They begin by helping you notice how badly everyone else has handled you.
They point out that you are too good for what you have accepted, that people around you do not fully understand you, that maybe you have been giving too much and receiving too little. By the time they are done, nobody has been directly attacked, but somehow your emotional surroundings now look less trustworthy than they did ten minutes earlier.
That is step one: create doubt.
Step two is to present yourself as the better arrangement.
How do you do this? You say to people, you deserve peace. You should be with someone who understands you. Life does not have to be this difficult.
Suddenly they are not just talking but are subtly becoming the alternative.
Donald Trump often uses a version of the same formula. First explain what is broken, then make the danger feel close, then present yourself as the one person willing to say it plainly, and finally promise that things will be better if people trust your direction. The words change, but the sentiment stays strangely familiar.
Given this is satire, one has to admit that human beings fall for this more often than we think. We do so not because we are foolish, but because anyone who explains your discomfort clearly can begin to sound like the person who understands you best.
It is not so different whether it comes from Benjamin Netanyahu warning civilians before what comes next, or Donald Trump repeating that only he can fix what others have failed to fix.
If we listen carefully from where our feet are, political speeches can occasionally sound like accidental relationship advice.
Politics IS like the dating road and the T junction ahead determines what day + 1 will look like.
ReplyDeleteIf fear is sold, if the alternative (current or potential) is denigrated, that becomes the foundation of the relationship. The politician or boyfriend, will live the rest of their lives pointing out scary things, or inventing them until he's squeezed his last creative juice or until the girl, or population, outgrow their fear of the dark. That's the left turn at the T junction and we see how Trump and Bibi are fumbling with that.
The right turn is built on I like you, and together we can be a formidable team. We aren't perfect, and that's okay. Sunsets are better seen with you. There's better flowers out there, but I choose this one. I choose you. There's examples galore of politicians who have used this approach and retire with the population wanting more of them. The examples of relationships built this way are numerous too.
It really is our choice. Left or right.
And to imagine. We always fall for it. Or even if we don't, they are advances you will either take or take.
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