Words in English that do not make sense (so I fixed them)

English is that language that looks you straight in the eye, lies confidently, and then asks you to live the lie. Words sound clear but then you find that in real life they are not exactly what they mean. You only learn about their true meanings through disappointment or other experiences. 

Here are a few English words that have always bothered me, what they officially mean, and what I think they actually mean in real life. 

• Almost

Official meaning: Very nearly

What it really means: Emotional damage. Pain dressed nicely. 

"Almost got the job." "Almost arrived home on time."

Almost is not a measurement. It is a heartbreak delivery system. Regret. It exists solely to remind you that effort and outcome are not friends.

• Soon

Official meaning: In a short time

My definition: Not today. Possibly not this year. And please do not ask again.

Soon is a word people use when they want to sound hopeful without committing to anything. Soon has no deadline. It just lies.

If someone says "I will call you soon," please proceed with your life. 

• Fine

Official meaning: Satisfactory

Actual meaning: Do not ask me any follow-up questions

I am fine is never about wellness. It means I am holding things together with social manners and would like to continue doing so without further questions.

• Free

Official meaning: Without cost

Reality: You will pay emotionally, socially or with your time. 

Free advise will cost you peace. Nothing is free. It is just billed later. 

• Busy

Official meaning: Having a lot to do

Translation: I cannot engage with this right now.

Busy is rarely about time. Busy is about energy, interest and self-preservation. People are rarely busy. They are prioritising something else and being polite about it. 

• Later

Official meaning: After now

My definition: A soft no

Later is the cousin of soon. They live together and avoid responsibility together. They are never home when accountability comes knocking. They mean well but never show up.

• Tomorrow

Official meaning: The day after today.

Lived meaning:  A place where unfinished things go.

 Tomorrow is not a place you arrive. A concept or promise or horizon. It keeps moving as you walk toward it. (read this blog post). 

• Interesting

Official meaning: arousing curiosity

My meaning: I do not want to say what I actually think.

Interesting is safe for when you want to be polite and vague.

• Actually

Official meaning: In fact

My meaning: Let me correct you slowly.

Now the Ugandan English section, because we deserve our own dictionary

Some words make even less sense when you live in Uganda

• I'm coming

Official meaning: I am on my way

Ugandan meaning: I acknowledge your existence

No movement implied.

• Let me see

Official meaning: I will consider it

Actual meaning: This conversation is ending gently

• We shall see

Meaning: Emotional disengagement in progress

• Just now

Official meaning: Immediately

Ugandan meaning: At an unspecified point between now and the future

• One day

Official: some uncertain future day

Ugandan meaning: I am hopeful but not planning.

• Okay

Official: Agreement

Ugandan meaning: I have heard you but we shall interpret this later.

Language is less about clarity and more about survival. We soften the truth and delay answers. We create space between what we feel and what we can say out loud. 

From where my feet are, words aren't meant to be perfect. They are meant to get us through conversations, expectations and each other, sometimes honestly, sometimes gently, and sometimes with just enough confusion to keep the peace.