Valentine’s Day. For some, it is a celebration. For others, it is a reminder. For many, it is simply another Saturday dressed up in red. The day tends to amplify whatever season you are already in. This is why a good question to ask is not what Valentine’s Day means, but where your feet are when it finds you.
I am writing this as a single woman. Honestly, if I were married or deeply in love, I think I would still write it exactly the same way. This is because it is not so much about your relationship status right now, but about how you decide to "stand in it," so to speak.
Valentine’s Day is not proof that you love or you are loved. It is not proof that you have or you are lacking. It is not a verdict on your relationship, your singleness, or your life. It is simply a day we have collectively agreed to decorate as a global community (Read the stats).
So, dear reader approach Valentine's Day calmly.
If you are dating, enjoy it. Let it be sweet. Let it be a day to remember. But do not use one evening to answer questions you have been avoiding.
If you are married, celebrate it. Celebrate it not because the calendar and media demand, but because love deserves effort and attention on Valentines day as much as on ordinary Saturdays too.
If you are single, breathe and be content. You are not behind and you are definitely not forgotten. You are not suddenly more alone because "restaurants are full."
If you are heartbroken, be kind and gentle with yourself. This day can be louder and more red than it needs to be.
If you are widowed, or grieving someone you once loved, honour your memories. Love does not disappear because Valentine's Day arrives.
If you are confused, do not force clarity because the world is posting roses. Confusion does not become clarity because it is February 14th.
If you are seeking renewal in your relationship or with yourself, let it start with honesty, not flowers or pressure.
If you are coming up for air from conflict or exhaustion, give yourself space. Not every Valentine's needs a celebration.
If you are young, especially in this age of social media reels, do not rush love because it looks urgent online. Real love is not a competition.
Love, trust and respect are built in ordinary days and in being consistent. They are built by showing up, answering the phone, keeping your word, in being kind, especially when nobody is watching. Roses are lovely, and we truly appreciate them, but reliability is better.
So wherever your feet are when Valentine's day arrives, be steady. Celebrate if you wish. Ignore it if you prefer. But do not let the day measure your worth. February 14th is not the end, neither is it the beginning. It is just a day, and you are allowed to meet it exactly where you are.
Happy Valentines Day, Peace
ReplyDeleteThank you B81. Happy Valentine's Day too, yesterday, today and tomorrow.
DeleteHappy Valentine's Peace..Beautiful write up!
DeleteHappy Valentine's
ReplyDeleteThank you! Happy Valentine's Day too and where ever your feet are today, I hope you are standing there peacefully.
DeleteHappy Valentines dearest Peace. Am in love with your writings. Honestly people should take a step back and take valentine at their own pace and in their own lane lest they fall into pits all due to a much acclaimed day.
ReplyDeleteThank you John Mary. I appreciate your kind words. And yes, love should exist before Valentine's day and extend beyond it.
DeleteI asked you once how you define success, and in your own words (verbatim by the way), you said, success is not an end in itself, I thought that was brilliant, I think quite the same of Valentine's day. It's not defining. I think it's a societal construct placed in adaptable and easily impressionable societies. When I look at what kwanjulas were 20 years ago and the show case of muscle drama they are today, I'm baffled, yet it's the trend. How did we get here?
ReplyDeleteYou'll soon have people wanting to declare Valentine's day a public holiday. And what's the objective anyway. Accreditation shouldn't be derived on just a day's flowers and dining, but rather a celebration and reminder of the journey, a celebration that's should be earned in my opinion. Could it also be driven by the business savvy, it's big business for the florist and the gift shop at the corner. I love everyday!
Your take on valentines must be made required reading especially in this social media influenced age of ridiculousness. Maybe then, everyone would dial it down a notch and cherish love for what love truly is. From where my feet are, I love, the only way I know how.
ReplyDeleteNice one Peace 😎…..The hype tries to sell us a script, authenticity lets you write your own. That clarity to-simply be you is a wonderful place to arrive at.
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful stuff Ng, good to see someone who thinks like me about this hyped day. My feet could be anywhere but my hands🤦🤦
ReplyDeleteAunty Peace.. Keep the notes coming in 😊😊😊
ReplyDeleteNMB! Happy belated valentines day! This is a great read..
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